Crombie Park, Peterculter. 10th August 2024.
The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy! – Robert Burns, To a Mouse. 1785.
The promised joy was a couple of hours on the train up the east coast and a pleasant cycle the few flat miles of the Deeside Line from the centre of Aberdeen out to Peterculter. Alas, it was not to be as ScotRail’s euphemistically (and optimistically) titled Temporary Timetable cancelled the morning train north. Disaster.
No problem, I’ll divert to the Bo’ness match. Ah, played last night. Damnit. Abandon? Drive? And so it was, I drove the couple of hours to Peterculter, turning into the rough track to Crombie Park well ahead of the 2:30 kick off.
First, the vitals. £8 to get in, £1 for a programme, £1 for the HT draw and £4 for a coffee and a tasty pie. £14 for the afternoon’s entertainment, on a blustery, but sunny day in the north east. And we are at the very edge of the ‘Deen here, beyond the ground, over the Culter burn, lie the fields of Aberdeenshire. There is no more granite beyond.
There was, however, plenty granite on the considerable Crombie slope, with the two sides seemingly selected based on power and size, rather than any semblance of finesse. Both teams seemed set on kicking the ball very hard in the general direction of the opposition goal. Indeed, Culter’s manager’s stated match strategy was to “get the ball forward and regain possession”, none of the relentless passing game, working the ball through a congested midfield. Just get it up the park. And it worked, as they took lead (playing downhill and into the wind) in the 43rd minute through a well worked goal from Cameron Fraser, their tall target man. The uphill struggle expected in the second half did not materialise and three more goals were added, including two from Willie Mathers, one of which described by the stadium announcer in a delicious Aberdeen brogue as “a rrrrrrasper”.
Watching football at this level, you hear every crunch and clash of shin pad, and most of the shouts. Goalies tend to do most of that , directing proceedings ahead of them and positioning defenders to ensure he has as little to do as possible. He also offers advice to his attackers as he initiates another aerial assault – “big heeds, lads, big heeds”. While you know whet he means, it is utterly nonsensical in any other context.
So – 4-0 and Culter are “in the hat” for the next round, much to their satisfaction. Next up is another home tie, vs. Sauchie Juniors. A long trip home for Invergordon, who were probably better than the score suggested and wee pang of regret for me that they could not deliver me the chance to go over the Black Isle. Another time maybe. Culter are the current North Region Junior Football League champions, two seasons running now and, by rights, should have had a crack at the Highland League. SFA rules forbade that, so a run in the Scottish Cup will need to do.
“A good win”, says an ageing supporter to the kit man as he came off the pitch.
“A very good win”, his enthusiastic reply.
“Fa’s next?”
“Sauchie Juniors”, says the kit man, as if giving the name of a team from behind the Iron Curtain in the early rounds of the 1973 UEFA Cup.
“Far’s Sauchie? Glasgow?”
“Aye”.
“They’ll be bringing their own referee, then”
Aside from the appalling geography (Sauchie is over thirty miles from Glasgow), it runs deep, that anti-central belt thing. I look forward to returning here later in the month for the next round.
Crombie is what you would describe as a “neat set up”, a tidy ground and a small loyal support. Proceedings inevitably overseen by ruddy-faced gents in club ties and rather distressing black shirts. There is no social club, alas, with the pre-match drinks pavilion (Portakabin) reserved exclusively for “the committee and guests”. Ah well, I waited for the Grub Hub to open and delighted at the option of a “mince and mealie” pie, we are not in Kansas now, Toto.
(Peter)culter’s other attractions are limited, but it is is a very attractive and well-to-do suburb of Aberdeen, it and Milltimber cut off from the city proper by the new Aberdeen by-pass. I always had the feeling that I was beyond the city’s limits on the way to Ballater when crossing the burn. Rob Roy’s striking statue overlooking the bridge, for me, marks the end of the city. MacGregor is thought to have leapt the burn at this very point. I hope it’s true, as lot of work (and a few replacement statues) are testament to the tale.
Pub: Black’s Bar, North Deeside Road. Pleasant local pub, with friendly chat. 
Scottish Cup, 2024-25:
Matches: 1
Goals: 4
Miles cycled: 0 (alas).
Pies: 1
Grounds visited: 1
In the Hat 
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