Holm Park, Clydebank. 30th November 2024.
When we started out, I thought we were really going somewhere. But this is it. We’re just going. Faye Dunaway as Bonnie Parker (Bonnie and Clyde, 1967).
We have reached the half way point in this season’s odyssey, but have yet to visit a senior ground. This round’s journey involved a train ride into Glasgow and then the ride out west, way out west, to Clydebank. The canal might have made for a nicer ride, and with more time I would have, but I pushed on through the increasingly unappealing industrial landscape to Holm Park, the council-owned ground Clydebank share with Yoker Athletic. And yes, it is on the bank of the Clyde, a good hoof out of defence and the ball would be in the river. We are also on the flight path into Glasgow airport, jets crossing above the pitch every few mins, good chance that the afrementioned clearance would hit the undercarriage of an incoming flight.
Labore et Scientia – through labour and science, states the club crest, a motto the town shares with its shipbuilding sister in Jarrow. Seems a little grand given what was on show – plenty of labour, certainly, but the science part seems to have been replaced by guile. And swearing.
The teams take to the plastic pitch before almost 1000 fans, with a good few from the north. Exchanges pretty even early on, lots of toil, not much goalmouth action. Until Hamish Munro lunged into a tackle in the centre circle and was dismissed. Backs to the wall for Buckie after that, though as the second half opened in the gathering gloom, neither side looked like they really wanted to be going through. That is before the introduction of Tiwi Daramola, on loan from East Kilbride. He exploited Buckie’s exposed right flank and a deft flick from Gallacher left a clear chance for Nicky Little to fire home. Place erupted – and I missed the goal as I was repositioning myself for the latter stages. Story of my life.
Little added a second late on after a penalty was awarded, Kier Samson through on goal, Dale Wood was adjudged to have brought him down and was promptly dismissed for his trouble. Looked a real soft one, but Little tucked it away and Clydebank saw out the remaining minutes for the win. Alas, no trip to Buckie for me.
The good people of Holm Park did a good job, they looked after my bike (even allowing it into the ground) and only charged me £6 to get in (I think they thought I was a pensioner?), a couple of quid on the half time draw and £4 for a burger, we are still well under £20 for the day’s entertainment.
Post match, I took myself up the hill to Kilbowie where Clydebank used to play. The ground is now a retail park, with an Aldi and a McDonald’s – nothing to indicate that it was ever the location for the highs and lows of Scottish football in the 70s and 80s. Obliterated. Maybe it is oversentimental to think that there should be some sign of its past. Clydebank can hardly claim to have a proud unbroken history, with the team founded in 1965 being the 4th attempt to establish a club in the town. Previous iterations had foundered or, in the case of the 1930s merger of Clydebank Juniors with East Stirlingshire, been just plain mad.
The fans are in festive mood, the ultras being led by a wee boy with a Lidl loudhaler, leading chants of adoration for the Bankies and unremitting loathing for Airdrie (who stole their place in the league in 2002). They also extended the festive hand of footballing friendship along the river to Dumbarton, with apologies to Shakin’ Stevens.
Snow is falling, all around me.
Children playing, having fun.
‘Tis the season, love and understanding.
Merry Christmas, fuck the ‘ton.
The place to catch a drink is the Lovat Arms – the first pub in Glasgow, as it is right next to the city boundary sign. I had a quiet beer and enjoyed the scenes as young centre-back Matt Niven came in for his post match refreshment and was greeted with loud cheers and a chorus of “We love you Bankies, we do”, much to his embarassment. I shared a chat with Jack, local chap and die hard Bankie, who gave me info on the team’s current rivalries – they hate Johnstone Burgh, for example, and shared the “joys” of following a wee team. His father’s attempts to get him to follow Celtic had failed and he has eyes for no one but Clydebank now. As Clydebank were in the hat for the 4th round, we mused on what would be a plum tie. Usual dilemma, do you want a winnable tie or a “big payday” by getting a premier league side? After a bit of deliberation, we settled on Hibs at Easter Road being the best of both – a big club in a big stadium, but having a pretty poor season and “there for the taking”.
A slight detour on the way back to town, taking in a couple of bridges and a big bike!
Amazingly, Stevie Naismith got the memo and duly plucked Hibs out of the hat. So we are off to Edinburgh – 5 games from Europe!
Scottish Cup, 2024-25:
Matches: 5
Goals: 17
Total miles cycled: 90.28
Pies: 2
Grounds visited: 4
In the Hat 
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